Obligatory iPad Response Post

It’s not going to be completely negative I promise.

OK we are PC gamers but we’re not Windows fanboys, I like Apple in general and we all have iPones, iPods etc.

That being said I always feel Apple should be going that extra mile to innovate and push boundaries, they have done it before and when they go around calling themselves “innovation specialists” and “industry leaders” I am going to expect special things from them but I can’t help feeling like the guy in this video after watching the iPad presentation.

All right so it’s over the top but still made me giggle.

I strongly recommended you put the time aside to read Stephen Fry’s very informative post on this, it’s a long one but worth it, thanks for the effort on this one Mr. Fry. Alas it is time for a less cultured opinion than his on here though, namely my own.

Just like Mr Hitler in the video when the rumours first started flying on this I wanted it to be good, I wanted Apple to smash the market to pieces with a new piece of cutting edge tech that I would pre-order tonight.

What we got (and I hate to say this because it’s going to be the most annoying cliche over the next week so super big sorry in advance) is a big fucking iPhone with no camera and no sim card and most importantly nothing new.

Tablets are new, they are only just becoming good enough to warrent being a full time product for the everyday person, but to have Apple of all companies bring us something which almost everyone I have spoke to agree is so mediocre then I just can’t get on board.

Lets do the negative first. It’s not hard to spot.

No OSX or Multitasking

The first big upset is no OS. I didn’t expect the latest version of OSX to be given to me in handy tablet form but I wanted something, jesus even M$ can make mobile OS software and special touch screen editions, can’t apple be bothered?

I have seen some “comeback” to this point saying that people want it to be simple, they want it to be cheap.

Well two things; if you want it to be cheap then stop looking at the Apple version, this is a premium product from a company infamous for making high quality, expensive designer goods. For Geeks.

The iPhone is expensive but it is beautiful. Not just in a designery flowers and sleek edges way but in a world in the palm of your and way. Other things do what it does better but the iPhone has the edge because it’s simply looks and feels better.

Secondly, simple? FUCK OFF why should the geeks and businesses who have funded this shit being developed for the last 40 years have to have things dumbed down for them because the general public decided technology as suddenly “in”. Go and play football and drink shots and stop forcing big companies like Google and Apple to fuck projects up because you are so stupid *cough* Google Maps *cough*.

OK step back there, i’m not being patronising or elitist or anything else, I want everyone to embrace technology and I understand it should be accessible but god damn it please don’t use this as an excuse for the lack of major, if not essential functionality.

No USB

I can’t even guess what the pro-iPad people are saying in response to this. USB is needed for accessibility (something which is supposed to be a goal here) but Apple are so intent on controlling it all that they wont even let us use memory sticks, why? Because they know full well people will use it to expand their functionality and they [Apple] hate that.

Fry goes more into the Apple control argument in his post and I won’t pretend for a second I can articulate it better than him so go and read it, bottom line of my opinion is this is a childish move.

No Flash

Jesus I thought they would have learnt from the iPhone here. Every major software update we are promised flash support, do we ever get it? No. Now it looks like it wqill never come to iPhone and iPad is not even going to try.

Going to geek mode for a second here.

This is not as bad as it initially seems as HTML 5 can do a lot more than people realise and I assume that iPad will support this with Safari patches however why not just put basic Flash support on? I just want to watch YouTube and play Newgrounds!

Most people won’t understand the HTML5 thing and I think, in time, Flash will matter less but it’s going to be a long time.

No Phone Calls or Camera

Actually I don’t care about these features, it’s not actually supposed to be a big iPhone, it doesn’t need them. Besides Skype App renders this argument void and I would like to see you take a picture with a 10 inch flat camera.

On to some good points about it then, I told you it was not all just bitching.

It Has the iPhone Magic

As Fry says on his blog, it looks fantastic. I am sure he is 100% right about holding it makes you want one. It’s a small saving grace but it’s almost a neccessity for an Apple product and its one field the iPad doesn’t disappoint in. I will not truly know until i touch one.

It’s Quick

It’s quick as hell, compared to most netbooks at a similar price it is going to blow them out of the water. That solid state is just what the next wave of tech ordered but unfortunately it’s probably the only thing in it that is.

It Will Hijack App Success

Ok this is going to be a major point of the post.

The ONLY reason (in my opinion) the iPhone is so successful is the Apps other people make for Apple and their customers. All Apple to do was the initial push of  ”Look at the sexiest fucking gadget EVER, every one of your customer will have one” and we all ran with it. After that major players like Facebook, Google, Xanga and all the banks etc ran with it too and from there on in it was self reciprocating.

If Apps had never taken off I almost guarantee I would never have got one, the cost would not have been worth it. Whether or not you attribute this success to amazing Apple marketing, luck or a little of both is up to you but for iPad to succeed it needs the same thing to happen.

I think, hand on my heart, this hype is strong enough to carry the iPad into a decent portion of people’s lives. Once it does that the cycle will begin again and the $’s will roll into Apple HQ.

Will I Buy One?

Probably not version 1. I would like one but I am not buzzing about it.

There is a lot of potential and as I said, maybe some amazing Apps will get produced and it will all of a sudden be a much, much better deal but for now it simply isn’t a big enough leap in tech to warrant my hard earned cash.

Plus of course the “England” tax means it will likely be £600 for basic.